If Gods Wore Hats They Would Choose This One.

Odin, Zeus, and Cthulhu collectively created this divine love child to place upon man’s head during athletic pursuits to bring them closer to the eternal beings. This piece of headwear will make you toss mountains, drink seas, and devour planets, making Superman himself appear a newly spawned giraffe. Purchase of this hat guarantees the owner a seat at the long table in the hall of the honored dead.